What She Desires Most

08 June 2010

Last Sunday Stephen Parker preached a message on 'What she desires most'. Stephen emailed out during the week an open letter asking the women from our church to share some of the things they desire most from the men in their lives. So here are a few things worth reading about what God says about how to love.

Ephesians 4:24-32 “and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. 29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives!! ...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.“2This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them

Why love your wife?
1) God says so!
2) We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
3) Because love transforms people
How do we love our wives?

Love needs to be
  Spoken
  Forgiving
  Self-sacrificial
  Practical

Here are some of their responses. They're worth having a go at men...

when he's done the dishes, cleaned the lounge room and helped with the kids, he still asks if there's anything else he can do. :) and when he just KNOWS that something needs to be done and he does it without me asking - that's awesome! But one of the things that makes me feel best is when he sits next to me while we watch tele, and holds my hand :)

"sex begins in the kitchen" I love it when my Hubby comes home and kisses me first and asks "is there anything you'd particularly like me to do to help you out?".

know the love language of your wife. If your wife is a gift love person, then she won't appreciate the touchy feely stuff or love letters etc as much
focussing on the lady rather than your stuff is always a great start!
When a wife is sharing a problem with her husband...she really wants him to listen & understand......or at least try to understand. Mostly, she doesn't want him to actually solve the problem

tell her you love her!! Listen to her, and treat her like every day is the last one you will ever have with her

Little text messages now and then telling me that he loves me... and just taking time to understand me and being patient with me. Having said all that, I think the most loving thing that he tries to do is stay close to God himself as a great role model and inspire and encourage me to walk closer with God...

Doing things without being asked. Actually noticing that something needs doing. Seeing the clothes on the line and bringing them in before it rains.

my love language is sleep-ins. Asking what's important to your wife and treating her with respect
Give us a night off cooking each week.
Spend time with us. Listen heaps.
Have fun together, laugh together.
Help each other not to get too tired. ...

Avoid pointing out our faults,
-start the day with a kiss good morning and end the day with a kiss good night.
-say i love you.

Plan for a 'date night' each week even in a busy week
-do things that your partner likes to do
-spend quality time growing spiritually through bible study groups, and devotions for the two of you. pray together.
-talk about needs and wants in the bedroom and be completely honest.

Throw in the odd bunch of flowers
A cuddle for no reason
Continually remind your wife what she means to you - leave notes around the house

Plan a date
I think its important for Mum to be seen as first in Dad's eyes
* first hug on arriving home from work
* sharing a smile across the room
* offer to pray for me or over me about something I am struggling with, or praise for something good

Honest compliments of how BEAUTIFUL we look and on our good points,
Hugs, spontaneously given, are the best thing on earth.

Provide leadership in the home
Ring when running late
Look after children for a short time on a regular basis
Take family walks
Not expect to fit too much into a weekend
Make time for conversation after children have gone to bed for the night
Continually remind your wife what she means to you - leave notes around the house
Plan a date

I think its important for Mum to be seen as first in Dad's eyes
* first hug on arriving home from work
* sharing a smile across the room
* offer to pray for me or over me about something I am struggling with, or praise for something good

Honest compliments of how BEAUTIFUL we look and on our good points,
Hugs, spontaneously given, are the best thing on earth.

We must love our wives
  Because God tells us we must (and need to)
  Because God first loved us
  Because love transforms people

How do we love our wives? Our love must be

  Forgiving
  Self-sacrificial
  Practical

So give it go - there's nothing better than being in love.